Destuckifying

Yesterday I wrote about my themes for 2010, which include Writing Big, Learning More, Going to the Gym, Working My Shit Out in Public (part 2) and Having Fun. My astute friends and readers and the Universe all told me that perhaps a single unifying theme is also needed, or needed instead. And last night, through the power of the Internets, I found the word.

And that word is destuckifying.

My spellchecker says that destuckifying is not a word, but I contend that it is, because last night, I found a website dedicated wholly to the process of destuckifying. And destuckifying is fun to say. It feels Willy Wonka-ish in a non-creepy, non-Oompa Loompa kind of way. I found this website through a new commenter, who linked to it from her blog. There are no coincidences, only strings to follow to where you’re supposed to be. You have to be aware of your surroundings to notice and follow the strings. Sometimes you trip over them. However you find them, it’s right.

I declare that 2010 is the year of serious destuckification. All of my 2010 themes are areas in which I am stuck in the muck of fear and self-doubt and shame and I-can’t-because-of. I’m certainly no more stuck than other human beings out there. I’m just admitting it here, in public. Because that’s what I do best: confess.

I am stuck in my “real” writing. I am stuck in “I can’t” on how I treat my body and my money. I’m stuck in a jar of judgment about how I have fun, or don’t have fun, or don’t know how to have fun. And while I’m not really stuck in how I work my shit out in public, that process is part of the unstuckifying.

I know that another area I am stuck is called I Can’t Do What I Want Because It Takes Money and I Don’t Have Any Because I Find Myself Spending It on Crap that Doesn’t Take Me Where I Want to Be. Like makeup (oh, I love buying makeup, especially expensive makeup) and clothes and shoes and really bad sandwiches for lunch because I couldn’t find it in me to make a turkey sandwich the night before. This goes back to the book I read in November about aligning your financial life with your values. The exercises from which I did not stick to after day 17. Day 17 seems to be the make-or-break point for me. Ah, well.

This is a journey. And it’s just as fun to look out the windows as I go along and think and make observations and talk about how I feel about what I see as it is to get to where I’m going. That’s what I have to keep in mind as I destuckify.